Trans by: dorfehh@DBSKnights
Shared by: DBSKnights
Again, this is from a Chinese fan. I only translated parts of it, let me know if you guys want more.
My father is normally a very strict and conservative person, however this is not the case where DBSK is involved...
If male fans are regarded as national treasures, well then my father must be a rainbow panda...
Do you not believe me? How many of you have discussed matters regarding the lawsuit with your fathers?
My story will be split into several sections, some more touching than others and some more likely to leave you speechless...
Shanghai PART 1
On the 2nd of October, I was outside the venue of the concert buying merchandise when I suddenly heard music coming from within the stadium.
At that moment, I realized that DBSK were rehearsing inside. At the door, some girls started to scream.
My father went to take a look but ended up screaming along with them...
Finally the girls quietened down and turned to stare...
Shanghai PART 2
We were waiting to get into the stadium and having arrived early, I was closer to the front of the line. All around me, people yelled 'Open the door! Open the door!'
Finally, we saw someone at the door waiting to check our tickets.
I told my dad to come over, but instead he rushed to the front of the line.
Watching him cut to the front made me feel bad, and just as I was about to move to the front, he pulled at my collar and said "Come on! Let's go in together!' and so we got in...
Some of the fans looked a little mad and were going to yell at us but got uncomfortable at the sight of an old male Cassiopeia…
Shanghai PART 3
And so we managed to get in…
Dad: 'I thought it was only you, looks like everyone else is the same'
Me: "The same?'
Dad: 'Look' *points up*
I looked up and saw a huge poster with a group picture of DBSK
Me: "Jaejoong's so hot'
Dad: "Some day you should tie him up, bring him home and keep him in a cage'
Dad: 'Tell your friends to come look, 500 per viewing'
Me: 'So that's what you're after…'
Dad: '1000 if they want to hold hands'
Dad: '5000 if they want a kiss'
Dad: 'And if they want to stay over night...'
My dad and I have discussed what we'll do once we manage to kidnap them...
Jaejoong - Cooking (obviously)
Yunho - Laundry
Yoochun - Sweeping the floor
Changmin - eh.. well.. He can do my homework (You're a genius minnie, help me with my summer holiday work)
Junsu -… (You don't have to do anything, go and watch TV… no matter what you do, we'll just have to clean up after you)
You guys can borrow the five of them for your household chores too, just speak to my dad about the fees and such
P.S. Flirting with the five of them during their working hours is prohibited. Offenders will be charged an additional fee.
This is all I had time to translate, I'll have the last part posted as soon as possible.
Part 1 Continued
Dad: Do you love me more or DBSK more?
Dad: Which one do you love more?
Dad: Then you don't want your men?
Me: I want them!
Dad: You can't have it both ways...
Me: It's okay, I'll just teach my dad how to kidnap them!
Form a line here if you'd like him to be your godfather~
My Mom & Changmin
One day my mom saw me looking at a photo of Minnie, she said "Take him home and make him work, if he doesn't cooperate, we'll beat him up 30 times a day!'
Dong Bang Shin Ki's 'Sanskrit'
My dad went to the world expo last month:
Dad: When I was on the train, I met a group of Cassies. I told them I'm an old Cassie but they didn't believe me!
Me: What did you do then?
Dad: I sang them a DBSK song
Me: What song?
Dad: I sang 'Sanskrit'. As soon as I started, all those girls went nuts, but they finally believed me…
Me: San..Sanskrit? Please, the song's called 'Mirotic'… (I wrote down the two words and showed my dad)
(The chinese name for Mirotic and 'Sanskrit' sound very similar in Chinese)
Dad: It's almost the same thing….
So if any of you fans out there met a middle aged man claiming to be an old Cassie and who played you 'Sanskrit', well then, that's my dad, the godfather you guys thought to be perfect.
Being perverted is hereditary…
Dad: *Staring at a photo of DBSK, deep in thought whilst pointing at Yunho* Leader-sshi is the type of man who will look more and more handsome as he ages.
Me: Yeah *nod*
Dad: *Points at Jaejoong* Him… he won't age…
Me: Yeah yeah yeah *nods furiously*
Dad: *Points at Yoochun* Ahh…
Dad: I feel like I'm looking at a younger version of myself!
Dad: Perhaps when he gets older, he'll look like me….
Me: Yayayayayaya *continues nodding furiously*
Dad: Back in those days, I was so charismatic, so many girls were after me…
Me: Aren't they still?
Dad: Who did you hear that from?
Me: Dad, we're doing a flashmob, I just learned the dance, let me show you
Me: Yeah, Mirotic and Balloons
Dad: Okay, show me.
After I showed him the dances…
Dad: Have you shown your men?
Me: Not yet…
Dad: Whatever you do, don't show Jung Yunho!
Me: Why? *Annoyed*
Dad: If he sees, he'll cry… (Basically he's saying her dancing sucked)
Me: Dad! There's blood in my urine!
Dad: What? Are you sure it's not just your period?
Me: Of course it isn't…
Dad: Then what is it?
Me: Maybe it's because I held it in for too long…
At the hospital…
Doctor: I'll give you some medicine, your kidney's not in very good condition…
Me: Ah, it's all because of Kim Jaejoong!
Doctor: Excuse me?
Dad: Just ignore her, what medicine did you say you were going to give her?